Have you ever been told "Just be grateful for what you've got?" Did it make you feel better in that moment? If the answer is no, then read on to find out why.
During our childhood, most of us were taught that we should be grateful for what we have. However, many of us now unconsciously use gratitude to shame ourselves out of feeling a certain way, and this doesn’t usually end well!
Lets look at an example - "I am so angry at my kids but I should be grateful they are just healthy". This way of layering gratitude on top of a negative emotion in an attempt to make us feel better will - most of the time - backfire.
Papering over our true feelings with a feeling that we should be grateful actually just makes us feel worse. This is because we then feel guilty for not actually feeling grateful and - on top of this - we still haven’t actually dealt with the original feeling or emotion.
Top Tip - Anytime we tell ourselves we should feel something, take notice. We are more than likely creating a moral value, which will be followed by a feeling of obligation and then a feeling of shame when we can't persuade ourselves to feel that way.
So, how do we combat this?
We need to sit and deal with the original feeling, ignore the gratitude trap and really take the time to understand how we feel, and why. Don't fall into the common Mind Trap which makes us believe we are a terrible person for feeling the way that we feel. Our feelings are just that – feelings, and they do not reflect on the type of person we are. Only once we have taken full responsibility for our feelings and understood them, can we make a conscious decision whether to accept them, reject them or do something about them.
All our ‘Mind Trap’ techniques take time and practice and each are discussed further within our Coaching Packages. To find out more about what we can do for you, why not contact us on Facebook or Click Here
All Photo's used for our 'Mind Trap' Series were provided by Dominique-Alana Photography