When we feel down, have had a hard day or a string of bad luck, it’s easy to link them all together as a higher purpose and as 'not just coincidence'. We often then start to ask ourselves dead end questions such as;
- Why does no-one love me?
- Why do I deserve all this bad luck?
- Why is my boss an idiot?
- Why do my kids misbehave?
- Why can't I just get this right?
The problem with this is, by the time we start questioning ourselves in this way, we already believe the basis of the question to be true.
For example, if we are asking ourselves “Why does no-one love me?” it means we already believe that no-one loves us and finding an answer to this question is not going to make us feel any better.
The human mind does not work well with uncertainty, and subconsciously it works hard to prove us right, no matter what we are asking ourselves. The scientific term for this is Confirmation Bias and we will hear more about this in our next post!
So, what do we do about it?
The brain is an amazing tool which - when asked the right question - can help boost our confidence and help to find us more valuable answers. So, instead of asking ourselves dead end questions - which our brain uses valuable energy trying to answer - we can rephrase them into powerful ones which will help us on our journey to succeed, such as;
- What is the next step I can take?
- How much evidence can I find that I’m loved/a good mother/good at my job?
- How can I make this a more positive experience?
- What is good about this?
- How can I minimise the negative impact this will have?
These questions will prompt our brain to firstly attempt to come up with evidence to prove us right, then go on its own mission to attempt to find the answers for us.
In summary: The brain does not like uncertainty and our subconscious mind will always try to find an answer for us if we are asking ourselves questions based on emotion. So make sure you are asking yourself the right questions!
All our ‘Mind Trap’ techniques take time and practice and each are discussed further within our Coaching Packages. To find out more about what we can do for you, why not contact us on Facebook or Click Here
All Photo's used for our 'Mind Trap' Series were provided by Dominique-Alana Photography